The night I almost died

This is one of the few stories I'll tell where no actual promiscuity was involved. But it's such a good story I need to tell it.

There won't be any of that this time

Photo credit: Kaiden Diavolo


The scene is freshman year, I think it's late winter, early spring. My roomie and I headed to our friends' room in our building because these guys always had alcohol and we knew we could count on them to share. We decided to take shots of cheap vodka and make a mark on our arm with a sharpie for every shot we took, that way we could keep track of how many we drank but also try to show off how cool we were with how many shots we had. If I remember correctly, I had about six. We then went to a party that was pretty far away, we had to of taken a cab there. I remember bumping into a girl I went to high school there and we all took a group picture. I vaguely remember sitting in the kitchen of this apartment drinking while other people were having a conversation. Like I was just drinking by myself. Anyway, I black out and come to in the hospital, lying in a bed with an IV in my hand.



And guess who is sitting next to me? My mom. I'm mortified. First of all, I don't know how I got there. Second, I don't know how my mom got there. I figured I was there because I drank too much, at least I knew that much. I asked my mom why she was there and she said that I told the hospital to call her. WTF. In my drunken, blackout state I told the hospital to call my mom and I gave them her phone number? Why would I do that?? After I get over that shock, I ask what's wrong with me and she said my friends called an ambulance because I was unresponsive and turning blue. They didn't have to pump my stomach, thankfully. But there was a homeless guy in the bed next to me.

The nurse eventually came over and asked how I was doing, I said I just wanted the IV out of my hand and attempted to pull it out myself. But we had to wait for the doctor to say I was good to go. So I asked my mom how she even got into the city, because she gets lost anytime she drives into the city, and she said dad was waiting out in the parking lot. Another WTF. I can handle my mom, but my dad? I did not even want to think about what he was going to say.

I finally got the OK to leave, so I walked out of that emergency room with the blanket from the bed wrapped around me. I'm pretty sure I was still drunk, because once I got into the car with both my mom and dad I had the balls to tell them I wanted to go back to my dorm. My mom said I should come home with them, but I was adamant that I didn't want to. I basically demanded I be brought back to my dorm. And they obeyed! I'm guessing they must have just been relieved I didn't die that they didn't even think to be mad at me.

We pulled up to my dorm and my mom wanted to walk me up to my room. We got to the desk where you have to show your student ID to get in and I didn't have my ID. Just great. But I did have my phone, so I called one of my friends in the dorm and luckily she answered and came down to sign me in. I made it up to my room, bid my mother adieu, and went to sleep.



The next day I learned from my friends the full story of what went down. We got a cab from that party and I threw up in it, costing one of my friends an extra $75 owed to the driver for cleanup. My friends brought me to another friend's room in our dorm and I threw up on her roommate's blanket. That's around the time I became unresponsive and started turning blue. They called an ambulance, and I was taken outside in a gurney, where a small crowd formed around the ambulance to see what was going on.

Luckily, the school gave me "amnesty" for my indiscretion, as they have a policy where they want students to seek help if they are in danger as opposed to trying to handle the situation and hide it where the outcome could be much worse. And, my mom called me the next day and asked how I was doing without expressing anger or complete disappointment!

That's the embarrassing story of how I almost died. In the end, I think I was lucky that I didn't get into any kind of trouble. But after that night I could never take a shot again. Anytime I tried to, I gagged. So I just gave up shots, it was easier that way.